Downward Spiral

Not really having the balls to leave NY for good, I stayed close enough to be of any assistance to the Brotherhood I could while I was still out of reach for everyone. Thank fuck for my privacy issues. The Penthouse was now my permanent residence. I kept to myself, buried in the shadows of a dark stinking alley that would be my ally and my home, to be with my lonesome self was something that I never thought I would do again but I never really believed that I was meant to share the misery of my existence with anyone else. No matter what, I had to do what I could. The need to fight did not just thrive on the fact that I was born into it, born this way, a fighter by nature and blood, but in these moments of misery it gave me something to fucking do that didn’t involve much, if any, real thought and ultimately it would take off the edge that had never left me since I decided to leave… no scratch that, since I started obsessing about a female that didn’t belong to me. The seat creaked under my weight as I rolled my shoulders to try and alleviate the tension that was building up just from being cooped up in this place, never really my home but merely a place where I could go to and give into my darker nature.

Transparent liquid swirled in the glass I held with my gloved hand, my mind conjuring the last images of the female with the mahogany curls and big dark chocolate eyes. It wasn’t how I wanted it to go, nope, nowhere near but I could at least think of the way she felt against my body when I embraced her at the club. That moment, right at that instant, I passed through the awkwardness of the moment and just for a second I could imagine that she was mine to desire, mine to comfort… just.fucking.mine. The mere thought made me groan in discomfort. Not only was she not mine but she belonged to a brother, they were together and I had no intention of getting in the way. Especially not after the shitty life I had, a female like her deserved to be with someone like Tohr, a worthy warrior that had logic written in his every bone. There would be no sudden mood swings or anything that might be considered “unbalanced” and I was right up that alley with Z. And I believe everyone could safely agree that male had serious problems.

That conversation did not go well when I presented my case to the King. Then again, the fact that I told him I was leaving the Brotherhood for the benefit of others had the male out of his big ass throne with a nasty look on his face, fangs bared and a menacing growl filling the air. He forbade it and yelled. Wrong answer… I had no intention of backing out of my decision and there was no going back. This was going to happen with or without consent. I leaned against the wall, staring back at the intense look that only Wrath could pull off with those wraparounds covering his eyes. If anyone could pull an expression or glare that would be him. That I felt like a high school female asking for a break because she couldn’t deal with her workload and boyfriend bullshit. After God knows how long he finally demanded a goddamn explanation and snarled “The Brotherhood is not something you can just fucking run away from, Vishous!” My diamond eyes bore into those wraparounds as if I could see behind the dark lenses. My voice was matter of fact. “I need some… space… or I will do something stupid… involving a female that’s taken” Shit hit the fan and off went his bonding scent. the temperature of the room dropping far enough to flash freeze a side of beef. I had to roll my eyes at the sudden aggression and testosterone levels. “No offense to Beth, but she’s not my type.” A tense moment later, I argued my point and won, logic finally forcing Wrath to agree that putting some space between me and the brothers was best. I was now technically on a “leave” and would answer the goddamn phone to come to aid. As if I could really get away. Later that same evening I was ready for my last goodbyes and a nice fucking drink.

As always, the club was swamped with females and males that seemed to writhe on the dance floor in a sleazy sort of mating ceremony. And then we came in. Brothers always attracted the right and wrong kind of crowd, even in the sort of fortress like our very own sin-eater provided for us all here at ZeroSum. I had walked in and barely made it to the bar when it seemed that everyone suddenly zoned in on the big warrior with a fuck off attitude and a blunt stuck between his lips. Bodies had suddenly appeared out of nowhere, or rather everywhere, and kept me trapped next to the bar. This was it, I wanted to have a drink with my brothers and, if I was being frank with myself, I wondered if I would see her that night and I could steal some time away with her.

I had just revealed to my brothers that I was leaving when I felt my hair stand at the back of my neck. She was here. My eyes caught her smaller figure from a distance and watched as she made her way to me. I had to pull every bit of self control I had not to turn and pick her up in my arms. I put out the blunt that I held between my lips and waited for the moment she came and closed the distance between us.

“You’re leaving?” the tone of her voice held a panic I didn’t think she would have for someone like me… it cut through me and would forever stay with me. Pleadingly she continued. “You.. you can’t leave. Stay…” The haunted look in her eyes tugged on my heart and ripped me to shreds. “Vishous, I…”

The sentence trailed off into an unfinished thought that held so much meaning and yet not nearly enough. “I don’t want you to go.” I wanted to tell her neither did I but, God knew I had no choice.

“It’s for the best, pet." Or so I kept telling myself, maybe repetition would actually make me believe that was true. That, somehow, I was doing this because I couldn’t deal with the fact that I would cause pain in people I actually cared about.

“Best for who?”

Fuck, who knew I had it in me to want to comfort a female? For me to actually care enough that I wanted to reach for her, touch her… yeah that would go well in a crowded place.

“Best for everyone.” Yes, once more. Rinse and repeat.

“Then this is good bye.” He voice so small she seemed like a child being told her parents had died. The kind of pain that an innocent had and could never get rid of. This was hurting her. And I liked that. Liked that she was hurting at the loss of me. I’m such a bastard.

“It is.” My voice sounded dead to my ears, there was nothing else to do or say but after a single embrace I would cherish forever, I was done and gone for the night.

Days and nights had been one and the same for me, spent in perpetual dark with no way of escaping the haunted memories and thoughts that were slowly driving me insane. An hour or two sleep was all I could manage and even that was eluding me now. My nights had been divided between fighting and stalking the night for even a chance to glimpse the female I craved and had no right to. I saw her from afar, my diamond eyes missing nothing from the way she moved to the way she stared off in the distance as if lost deep in thought. I missed her… shit… my pace faltered. To admit that was… monumental for me. My brows knitted together as I contemplated that possibility and its meaning. Fuck, was this going beyond a simple obsession? Simple curiosity? The situation had escalated to a point where it was worse than it had ever been with any other male or female. I rubbed my face as if the action could erase the unease that these thoughts cultivated deep within me. Goddamn feelings, confusing the fuck out of me. I knew there was something there but I was not willing to accept... no no.. I was not willing to go there not yet… not ever.

The rattling noise that came from the vibration of my phone broke through my tortured musing and I sighed thankful for any kind of distraction. Thoughts were a dangerous place right now. I pinched the bridge of my nose as I thought about who could possibly want me right now for whatever the fuck reason. “What?”

I swallowed a groan that threatened to fall from my lips when the voice came from the receiver in a, what I’m guessing, she considered a sultry greeting. Not again. Not the same thing all over again with this female. No matter what I did she kept coming, maybe giving her my phone number was not the best of ideas. “Hello” long pause and a very hard time processing the rest of what I was going to say “pet.”

Then things changed. I couldn’t believe where this conversation was going, although knowing the female I should have seen it coming. Her sickly sweet voice drifted again through the speaker “ I was wondering if you had need of me, my lheage. Stress relief, perhaps?” Didn’t that just make my stomach churn. However, the life I was living now had thrown me completely out of the game when it came to play time or even release. The name calling, what I was going through, the fact that I haven't called a pet in a while had me on edge to say the least. My leather covered hand fisted into a tight ball. Fuck the complications, it wouldn't even be a fuck. Just release. A blow-up doll with pulse and blood running through her veins... I gritted my teeth when I realized how fucked up I was and how much I was willing to give up for a moment of control over something when my life had decided to go haywire without my consent. Well fuck that. I’d take back whatever I could. My voice turned cold and dominant with an edge to it. “Yes, come on over now.”

I could almost feel her excitement through the phone, it made my skin crawl and yet I was unable to stop the request, to stop the pull to give into that need. It was a freight train coming at me full speed as I was bound and gagged to the track just waiting to be hit. She was talking way too much at that moment and I cut her off without a single moment of hesitation. I growled in annoyance at the questions I didn't want to hear, she was no newbie and I needed to inflict pain. Right.Fucking.Now. I stood up and made my way to my toys, my voice dripping acid with every word. “Yes, I need you to shut the fuck up and show up.” With that I ended the call and prepared for the scene that was minutes away from happening.

Hours later, in the darkness of the Penthouse by myself with a glass of Goose in my hand I stared out the sliders at the city below. The session was done and it left me feeling hollow, it was my old lifestyle back with full force. What I had experienced was nothing but the mechanics, movements of the forms with nothing to connect my mind with my body. I reacted on instinct and got off on the power I felt to have the writhing body on the table, bloody and spent, all because of what I had done. This is what you wanted, remember? Nothing out of the scene, nothing but gain for you.

And in the dark, left with no one to witness my weakness I admitted it, just once to myself and hoped it was enough to clear the female from my thoughts for good...Jodi...her goddamned name is Jodi... I scrubbed a hand over my face and said it out loud into the cavernous torture chamber I'd made my home- Jodi... -I winced at the pain of it but I'd said it for all the good it was going to do, the slow burn of vodka dulling me to the faint scent of spice wafting up from my skin. Jodi... Tohr's mate. I slammed the glass down on the bar... sonofabitch. She was my pyrocant was what she was. She should be my female. My mate. FUCKING MINE-

Clean Break

I blinked in disbelief, my pulse racing as I ran out into the Caldwell night to a chorus of hushed tittering, whispers hidden behind cupped hands sounding like the hissing of snakes as I pushed through the crowd, chocolate eyes hunting for… and I stopped dead in my tracks, inhaling sharply at the sight of him. Vishous. He was here.

I took a step and stopped, anchoring my feet against the intense need I had to be near him. Brows furrowed, mind fraught with warring emotion as the thoughts ping-ponged in my head. That was my male standing out there. No, not my male. Not now. My male was on patrol, the souring of Wrath’s mood leading to longer and longer shifts hunting lessers and as second in command, Tohr was duty bound to lead by example, fronting the charge against the Lessening Society in the back alleys off Trade St. Though Tohr wasn’t really mine, either, was he? There’d been no bond, no mating…and no sign of either in sight.  I pinched the bridge of my nose, unknowingly inching closer to the diamond-eyed warrior, his presence like a beacon to my body, beckoning me home.

As I skirted through the throngs of females still jockeying for position in his favor, I caught the low bass of his voice, uttering words that splintered me to my very foundation. He was… leaving? Oh, god. My knees went weak even as my adrenaline kicked in to pilot me  into the swelling masses, shoving bodies aside in a frantic bid to reach him even as my conscience railed at the impropriety. He’s not yours, Jodi… …belong to another brother… he can’t go… you’ll let him go… FUCK YOU, NO I WON’T! With a final push I broke free of the huddled bodies and stood face to face with the dark angel that plagued my every conscious thought.

His eyes found mine and I was speechless for a moment, the weeks of separation leaving me dazed the moment I took in his face, my lips moving but unable to make a sound as I fumbled to put the words together in my head, panic finally kicking me into gear to blurt out a near-hysterical “You’re leaving?” no. No. NO! “You.. you can’t leave. Stay…” …for me went unspoken as eager ears scattered through the crowd watching Tohr’s female fall apart over a male that wanted nothing to do with her. “Vishous, I…” What? Love you? Need you? Have died a little every day since I last saw you? Oh yeah, Jodi. That will go over like a whore in church.

“I don’t want you to go.”

“It’s for the best, pet."

Maybe it was my own anguish reflecting in the icy pale of his eyes but for a split second I thought I saw…sadness? No, Vishous would not be sad for me. He would not see the pain I felt knowing that this time there would be no coming back. Still, for a few minutes more, I could pretend he was mine and those precious few minutes would have to last me a life time.

I took a deep breath, pulling in as much of his scent as I could and stepped as close to him as his huge form would allow, the zipper of his leather jacket brushing over my stomach and I curled my fingers around its lapels, looking up with pleading eyes.

“Best for who?”

There was no answer at first, just a drawn breath and the creak of a leather glove flexing near my waist, as if he’d intended to reach for me and thought better of it.

“Best for everyone.”

I nodded slowly, squeezing my eyes shut to staunch the building flood of tears.

“Then this is good bye.” My voice was small, the hope running out of my body as if someone had pulled the stopper on a drain.

“It is.”

I forced a smile as he awkwardly reached out and folded me into his arms, my face pressed into the worn leather jacket and taking shaky breaths, sighing quietly as he smoothed a hand down my back and pressed a whiskered kiss to my temple before pulling away with a last look. I shook my head, too weak to see his face again, turning back into the crowd and heading into the mansion, snatching the first bottle I found along the way and plodding up the stairs to my bedroom. Ours… our bedroom… I corrected, slamming through the door only to hear the thudding of shitkickers behind me.

“Tahlly? Are you alr…” Tohr stopped, cautiously eyeing the bottle in my hand. “What’s this?”

I climbed onto the bed and curled beneath the blankets, back turned to the male in the doorway. “It’s nothing, Tohr. I just.. I just lost a friend, that’s all.”

“All this over a friend, Jodi?” He sat down on the bed, his weight sinking the mattress. “Are you sure that’s all he was?”

I took a long pull off of the bottle in my hand and counted to ten once and then again. Time to sell the lie, Jodi. And make it count because you have to use it to convince yourself. This was a clean break. You have to let Vishous go.

“Yes, Tohr. Just a friend…”

Cold Turkey

Nights out on patrol had done little to distract me, my mind racing to always end up lost in the dark chocolate pools of her eyes. Days cooped up at the pit after nights filled with the constant battle of good vs evil-bad ass warriors against pale undead fuckers- the forced sensory deprivation bringing her to the forefront of my thoughts again. The war was left on the Caldwell streets, the rush of adrenaline priming me for the kill, transforming 260lbs of warrior muscle into a juggernaut of visceral carnage. Until I was back at the compound washing the oily blood down the swirling drain of the shower, straining to remember the weight of my dagger in my gloved palm…  but nothing could compare to the way those mahogany waves framed the delicate features of that female with the sweetest of bloods. The moment of weakness I had experienced had been a blessing and a curse all at the same time, it gave me the chance to say yes to her willing vein… the curse… I couldn’t shake the way her skin felt against my lips, the way the bouquet of her blood so easily flowed down my throat as it revitalized my body, and the way her body fit against mine.

The nights went on as if on autopilot… the meetings with the hardass King – annoying as ever for both of us –, Tohr riding me about the new system of operations and for constantly ignoring his “stern” looks, setting up coordinates for the new attacks and new routes for patrol, scanning the areas and killing the smelly fuckers accordingly. It had been a fucking miracle I had kept my shit together enough to keep the injuries at minimum or… no… to think I could’ve been benched for being distracted would have left too much time on my hands to obsess over and over again in the dark corner of my office.

I found myself using my office as a sacred sanctuary that kept me secluded from the problems that plagued my mind as I busied myself with “mundane” tasks. My brows knitted together as I thought about the last few times I’d hidden in this room. Lately my life had been one obsession after the other. First the cop and now I realized it had been a while since I had even thought about the male any other way than as my best friend. The misery that came with the dreams of him were just that… dreams…and had ceased to cast a shadow over me, to leave me wallowing in pain under that visibly untouchable aura I had perfected ages ago. However, my thoughts made a sharp turn to linger on those dark eyes… the ones for so long that I’d tried to ignore. That smartass female standing out among the many others that followed the brothers around. Even as I told myself I treated her like any other there was a nagging feeling that had eluded me for all the time I had known her. I rubbed my temple as I considered this… had anything changed? If so, why had it changed? Why her?

Before I consciously registered any move, I was out of the Pit and materializing back to the place I had visited so many times the last couple of nights. She would be here. As always, I had done my research. Once I started obsessing about her, I gathered as much information as I could from playing around with my Toys, security cameras from the different places she frequented, hacking club security feeds and traffic cameras, searching for images of her, finally obtaining ample angles of her profile for my surveillance program to locate her in a crowd. Of course, I thought, I’m just looking out for my pet.. nothing less, nothing more. She had a habit of attracting the wrong crowd, namely males, I had figured that she could use a little help. A thought that would earn me a nice stinging smack if she knew. That female was a magnet for the opposite sex…a growl building in my chest at the thought of another male looking at her. Now, I found myself on the street scanning the painted faces of the Caldwell club set for her face. As per usual, I stayed by the fringes making myself one with the dark shadows that surrounded the club. I kept my anonymity no matter how much the fixation grew… I still kept to myself.

My gloved hand slipped inside my jacket to retrieve my blunt and gold lighter, after I make quick work with both I’m happily taking a hit of the Turkish tobacco. I blew out a cloud of smoke as I stood against the wall of the dark alley across the street from the club. My diamond eyes fixed on the window and the crowd that gathered close to the main door as I smoked. I hadn’t spotted her yet but I knew she was there. Every cell in my body hummed as if sensing her presence, which told me that staying a few feet away would be the smartest move. If only I could follow through with it… Bodies passed by the window, females laughing and dancing to get the attention of whatever male was unfortunate enough to be within range. I winced when I spotted a few that had been there to take care of me when the need had risen, too wired up to notice I had fucked them against the nearest wall. With the edge off the females immediately ceased holding my attention. Get in, get off, get out pretty much summed it all up. Nonetheless, as a Brother those encounters were sometimes passed down as X-rated legends, they’d still gone with a trophy fuck story to share with anyone who would listen.

It was during my reverie that… she walked into view. She looked as beautiful as ever, even behind the longing that clouded her eyes. As I took another long drag of my cig, I mused over what it was that could have her so sad… maybe the question was who. And the moment my mind conjured the image of another male causing her pain I… I shifted my weight on my feet, my body felt as if ready for a fight even now that there was no enemy within sight. Fuck. My gaze fell on my shitkickers, there was something in the back of my mind that gave me the chills, the foreign feeling did not sit well with me. After a heavy sigh, I turn back to look up at the window… just in time to see a small tear run down her cheek. That was it, any excuse I had flew out the window. I didn’t know what I’d say but, I was going to help her no matter what. The sound of my heavy footfalls followed me as I made my way out of the darkness… then I froze. The sight of another male kept me planted in place by the fringes of the alley. I could feel the shift that had started in me slowly rearrange itself back in place, the fragments of the wall that kept me secluded slowly being rebuilt and reinforced.

She had someone else.

Both of us were better off this way.

After one last longing look, permanently fixing her image in my brain, I dropped my lit blunt and crushed it under the soles of my well used shitkickers before I turned around for a long walk into the chilly night. My next move? A Goose-induced coma seemed like the best plan.

Addiction

 

Ass parked on the leather seat in front of my Four Toys, the incessant clicking of the pen against the table was the only distraction I had from the sudden invasion of a certain female in my cerebral cortex. Logic served me for nothing when it came to those slender curves and the night I made the… mistake… of allowing the weakness that came from putting off one of my most basic needs and trying to replace it with work. Anything but feeding. My usual pets had been… unsatisfying for the most part and I had no desire to feed from them after I’d gotten off on the control. What was it about that night? I never would have done that with anyone else. I dropped the pen in annoyance. Nothing would ease me or distract me from where my thoughts seemed intent to go. My brows knitted together as I considered this, loathe to speak to my brothers..not even Butch. I could already hear their answer and not only would I have probably laughed in their faces but the idea would have been repulsive, even. Moreover, my reactions were all over the place when it came to her. I pinched the bridge of my nose and exhaled loudly. I was losing control over my emotions, this did not sit well with me. My four toys went into energy saving mode and for the first time I’d lost track of my work and let the machines go cold. Fuck. This. The leather creaked as I leaned back on the leather seat with the clear crystal glass filled with transparent liquid balanced on my leg. My diamond eyes reflected against the black screen as my mind went back to that night…

My taller warrior frame towering over her, never touching, her body close enough that I could see the way her chest moved with every breath she took. She didn’t do this, this wasn’t just another brother groupie wanting a piece of one of us. This kind of intimacy was shared only in sexual scenarios for me and only when it was absolutely necessary, my vein had yet to be taken by anyone and I doubt that would ever happen. Too close. Too much. My chest brushed against her back and it was impossible to miss how good she smelled, her scent hit my nostrils and the closer I got the more I wanted. It was a good thing I had the no touch rule or this would not end here, at least not if it was up to me. With every ounce of self control I had, I leaned in. My jaw slacked open to reveal my fully elongated fangs that were just begging to take her vein, to feed from a female, from this female. Always so close, always there when I need a good laugh. A low rumble stopped in my chest when my mind started to drift back to the way she stood, the curve of her ass molding against me….

I groaned loudly, my leathers suddenly incredibly uncomfortable as the memories streamed through my mind, my body saying what I refused to admit. Get your shit together, Vishous. I heaved a sigh before downing the drink in my hand and got out of my seat, walking out of my office with plans of going out there to slice a few smelly fuckers to get this edge off. That was all this was, I was all wired up and that was why my body reacted like that. Yup… maybe if I repeated it often enough I would finally accept it as true.

The First Taste

It had taken me weeks of dogged perseverance to get here. Dozens of conversations that could last for hours or only seconds but I’d stayed steady, even as he flashed a warning of bladed fangs when I’d gotten too close, like a cornered animal ready to strike. He’d edged closer. Little by little trusting me more…or maybe it was just familiarity. He’d gotten used to me as part of his scenery. A small brunette air horn disrupting the quiet order of his regimen and contesting his will, showing him his rule was not as absolute as he’d once thought. And as his trust grew, so did the ache in my heart when he stayed gone for weeks on end. I could tell myself that I was helping a friend and soothing a hurt soul but I was too far gone to believe the lie anymore. If I didn’t love him yet, it was damned close and the way my pulse raced when he looked at me…really looked at me betrayed whatever story I tried to tell myself.

I knew him. The angles of his face, the scent of his skin and the hint of laughter that glittered behind his icy eyes, ready to break free if he would just let me in. And I tried; with jokes and good-natured antagonism. Poking the irritable bear, so-to-speak until he couldn’t help but grin that crooked grin, his goatee hiding the lines that surrounded his mouth when he really smiled. If I could just make him see that I would never hurt him as others had but, he was beginning to let me in and that was a start. So close…

I lifted a hand to touch his face, wincing as he took a step back, my heart splintering at the blow. It stung in a way I couldn’t explain to be rejected by him but, I wasn’t giving up. I would never show my hurt though I would never stop chiseling at the seemingly unbreakable wall of stoic cynicism he’d surrounded himself with.  If he could just open his eyes to what was right in front of him…within arm’s reach…

And then he reached for me, spinning me to face away and gripping my shoulders I found myself pinned against a wall, fists gripping its thick pillars and leaning back into its hard surface, the spikes of pain at my throat tightening my hold as my legs quake, perilously close to spilling me onto the floor. The stroke of something warm and wet relieved the throbbing burn as the source of the pain disappeared with a rough murmur of thanks and the whisper of words in a language I didn’t understand…the wall…spoke? Blinking away my confusion, the loss of blood sending my head into a spin. Not a wall… a male. A warrior. Him.

Staggering as he backed away from me, my fingers uncurling from their iron-like grip on his thighs as the heat of his chest at my back is replaced with the chill of the night air, brow furrowing at the strange ache in my chest when he pulled away. I sighed heavily and turned to face him, warm chocolate eyes meeting his glowing diamonds, their brilliance tinted with a frustrated confusion as he licked over a bloodied fang. My feet moved of their own accord toward him, one hesitant step after the other. So close… we’d been so close. He’d tolerated my hands on him and even if I didn’t understand why my heart fluttered at the prospect. He’s been so…hidden. So locked up with his own demons that he didn’t realize that the wall that he’d built to keep others out was what had been keeping them in. Always at his back, their claws slashing and shredding until the feeling had been torn from him…but they’d missed something. Something that I’d seen struggling to reach the surface, a kindness in the hard lines of his face blocked by the shadow of a worn Red Sox cap. It was there, whether he knew it or not. And I would help him find it if he would only let me. And in an instant he’d disappeared and took part of me with him. No word, no warning. Just…gone.

The light left my face though I tried not to show it, keeping up the appearance of the Jodi everyone knew. But, I was haunted. I saw him in reflections and shadows. Felt the weight of his stare from bricked alleys dimly lit by the buzzing yellow of aged streetlights. Heard his voice in my sleep, the raspy bass whispers waking me from dreams of being in the warmth of his arms and forcing me cruelly back into the stark reality of his absence. Christ, he wasn’t coming back, was he?

I politely listened to the other male’s raucous laughter, vying for attention where none would be paid…not yet, not as long as I held on to his image and the hope that there’d been something below the surface of simple friendship, however strained it had been. Booming voices clamored for a kind word or a flash of skin and I’d done my best to be no more than friendly. It was all I had in me.

I sighed heavily, breath fogging the window pane that stood between me and the Caldwell winter, back turned away from the crowd of brothers and adoring females all looking to carve their name into the legends by warming a warrior’s bed. I shook my head and willed myself to accept that my feelings were just that…mine alone. He’d felt no more for me than for any of his pets. I’d had a ready vein when the need took him, that was all. I flattened my palm against the cold glass, a single tear slipping down my cheek and whispering his name as if saying it aloud would somehow erase the emptiness I felt. “Oh, Vishous…” I wiped at my face, startled as a low voice cut through the reverie surrounding me…

“Female?”

I turned to face him, praying under my breath that he’d come back and hiding my disappointment at seeing the flash of navy blue eyes instead of Vishous’s glimmering pale irises. The male rubbed his neck nervously, finally scrubbing a hand over his short cropped hair and relaxing some as I gave him a warm smile.

“Good evening, warrior.”

“It’s Tohrment..Tohr…”

Somewhere in the darkness that pressed against the window, the cherry of a hand-rolled Turkish dropped to the street and was crushed beneath a battered shitkicker as diamond eyes bored into the image in front of them and turned back into the night.

Blowing off Steam

Tory

*I am buzzing as I push open the doors of Golds Gym, smirking at the trainer who lifts his hand in a wave, hitting me with a thumbs up and pointing to the matted room in the back where I used to beat the crap out of him...I inhale, the scent of sweat, leather, lycra..steroids standing in the centre of a mat, wrapping my hands as I wait in silent contemplation, psyching myself up to control my strength and not break any bones in my friends body...fuck..where the hell are you Jodi ? Tapping my foot impatiently to the beat of my heart*

Jodi

*threading my way the weight room to the back of the gym, finding Tory already waiting for me on the faded blue mat in the center the room* Hey, shrimp. *grins, tightening the tape on my knuckles*

Tory

*glares* hey...I'm small but I'm feisty *winks, shifting my feet, muscles itching to play* How are we doing this, female?

Jodi

*rolls eyes* Feisty? That's an understatement. Bare knuckle, sweets. I'm a brawler. Just don't kill me.

Tory

*nods* I think I can do that...this is about you...you hit me however you want...I wont hit you hard...and no death, gotcha

Jodi

*smirks* Very civil of you. *finishes wrapping my hands and tears the tape with my teeth before walking over to take my place on the mat.* First hit is free, shorty.

Tory

ohhh....we're doing height jokes? *holding my hands over my heart dramatically* it hurts so much...being short ...*rolling my eyes, fists clenching, spinning and dropping, my fist connecting with your stomach* Not too hard?

Jodi

*doubles over for a moment before straightening up, grinning* That's all you've got? *steps in and swings, landing a sharp jab to your chin*

Tory

*purrs at the hit, fangs extending, fists jabbing in rapid hits to your stomach and sternum, controlling the-

force behind them, all too conscious I could break you* I don't like hitting friends...it's always so much better when I hate you...*smirking, loving the minor ache in my jaw*

Jodi

*winces, falling back under the force of the blows* You could never hate me but, damn it...what's with the gut shots? Enough fucking around. *Strikes out, my left fist sinking into your stomach then swinging upward with my right rocking your head back.*

Tory

*snarling as my head snaps back, wincing* I hit your head...your dead...no way of knowing the damage I'll cause if I aim for your face...I like you too much to behead you...and you hit like a girl...*cracking my jaw, resetting my stance*

Jodi

That's because I am a girl, midget. And you can control your force, I know you can. *circles the mat around you, swinging with my right fist, narrowly missing your jaw* Come on, try it.

Tory

*hissing, baring my fangs as I dodge the next blow, delivering a sharp uppercut to your jaw, my right leg sweeping the floor, taking your legs from under you as you reel from the hit, silently praying you don't get brain damage*

Jodi

*hits the mat with a thud, shaking my head to clear my vision* See? That wasn't so hard. *stands with a grin, stepping forward, planting my feet again before striking, the jabs connecting with your chin perfectly in rapid-fire succession*

Tory

*slightly startled at the speed with which you regain your footing, the first hits land hard and precise, my chin taking the brunt of your strength...no Lesser but it tickled a little. Darting out of reach, spinning, grabbing a fistful of your hair and jerking your head back, knee raising to slam into the back of your head before I refocus my hit and flip you back down to the mat* Fuck...I keep forgetting with you!!! Why are you so breakable?...

Jodi

*hits the mat with bone-jarring force, pausing to gather myself before shakily making it back to my feet.* So this is my fault? Who the fuck told you this was UFC? *returns to my stance and quickly steps forward, gathering all my force to land a blow to your stomach*

Tory

*grunting, your fist slamming into the unprotected softness of my stomach, barking out a strained laugh* Fuck UFC... it won’t happen again...I forgot myself *grimacing as I straighten, abs protesting the hit, delivering a roundhouse kick to your chest, checking the force, the pressure, calculating every move, watching with satisfaction as you stumble back*

Jodi

Ow! What the...? *laughs, wincing at the pain of drawing a breath.* Damn it, Tory! Leave the girls out of this. I'd like to remain recognizable as a female when we're done.

Tory

*chuckles, rubbing a finger over my eyebrow, tongue playing with a fang* good thing we're not working with knives then huh?

Jodi

Smartass. I'm not through with you, yet. *stands and rushes at you, hooking my arm behind your neck, pulling you down and bringing my knee sharply into your gut*

Tory

*letting out a purr of approval, if Lessers were this much fun...who'd need TV? Pinching the inside of your thigh hard and curling my lip in a wince as I stretch myself out to full midget height, smirking* you mean cuteass right? *ramming my fists in a flurry of sharp jabs to your ribs, proud that you can actually hit me...no matter that I let you...and take hits*

Jodi

*doubles over, my arm wrapping around my rib cage and slowly righting myself, my eyes narrowing playfully* You are so taping me up after this. *lunges for you, catching you in a choke hold, the ball of my fist finding your kidney*

Tory

*laughing, arching to protect myself, constantly twisting so your fist never lands in the same place...not a good defense in a knife fight...you just end up with more holes...slumping in your arms, a dead weight, your grip loosening enough that I can drop down, my leg coming straight up to catch you in the face* tape yourself....or your trainer can do it *grins*

Jodi

Son of a bitch! *falls back, swiping at my nose with the back of my hand, my eyes widening at the crimson stain left behind*. I don't think any male is going to be seeing me topless for awhile. I'll be in enough shit with him already.

Tory

*nostrils flaring as the scent of your blood hits me* Well that's probably the nicest thing someone has called me in a fight *shrugs* bath of ice will help...can't have you bruised and battered for your show...I'll tape you...you good to go?

Jodi

My show isn't until August. *chuckles* Yeah, I'm good.

Tory

*cocking a brow* you want to go again?

Jodi

*brow arched, mirroring your expression* You sure you want to?

Tory

pfft...I do this for hours, with multiple Lessers on a daily basis...I'm good to go...but you tell me when you've had enough

Jodi

* grins* Why do I have to keep reminding you guys that I'm not that delicate? Let's do this.

Tory

*rolling my eyes* delicate no....human yes!! And would you mind not bleeding? It's distracting *laughs, kicking out at your knees, growling as you back out of reach* Rule One of Fight Club....*skimming the edge of your jaw as you spin away* damn..

Jodi

*laughing as your boot passes centimeters from my face* You don't talk about Fight Club. *Sweeps my leg under yours before you regain your balance.* Not much fun when I do it, is it?

Tory

*smirks as I assplant on the mat, flipping to my feet and grinning* its always fun...*twining my leg through yours and pulling you into me, my hand wrapping around your throat, fangs bared* A Lesser has your throat like this you’re dead...

Jodi

*croaks hoarsely* Not exactly a concern for me, sweets. *jabs my elbow into your ribcage, darting away from you as your grip loosens, sliding across the mat on my knees before getting to my feet. *

Tory

No? As long as you are weaker...you're a target...*flexing my fingers, aching from not crushing your windpipe, circling you slowly, eyes locked on you, assessing your weaknesses, to exploit them? Fuck I am too into this fight* You still good?

Jodi

*thinks a moment, taking stock of my injuries* I think I have a little left in me. *smirks*

Tory

Then bring it...try and make me bleed...and we'll call it a day...*crooking my fingers* come on, female...

Jodi

Deal... *Kicks out, my foot hitting squarely in your chest, knocking you back, then spinning and catching you across the cheek with the back of my hand, grinning impishly*

Tory

*growling at the sting of your backhand, testing my lip with my tongue* Harder next time...*returning your hit with a fist, slaps just not my forte, feeling your jaw shudder at the contact* Fuck female.....we should be in oil doing this....

Jodi

*clenches my jaw, rubbing it with the butt of my palm* I did it in coleslaw once. *grins* Good times. *pulls back one last time, putting all the force I can gather into the blow, my fist catching you perfectly in the mouth, your fangs raking across my knuckles* That better, short stack?

Tory

*snarling as blood trickles into my mouth, a coppery burn on my tongue as my fangs slice into my lip* yeah...good deal... *glancing at you sideways as I lap the blood from my lip, crinkling my nose* Coleslaw? gross....I'd prefer honey...or syrup.

Jodi

*grins* I had mayonnaise everywhere. *smirks, seeing your split lip* I think we're even now, right?

Tory

Mayonnaise is horrible to lick off...we're even I suppose...any time you need this...just call...I'm always up for a fight..

Jodi

*nods and starts to peel the bloody tape off my hands* Assuming big bro doesn't beat my ass.

Tory

Why would he? I fight Lessers and get hurt way worse than this...plus he leaves bruises *smirking* you just split my lip...

Jodi

*smiles weakly* I'd just hate to lose any friends. I need you guys, you know? *takes a breath* Come on, let's get me patched up. I want a rematch. Soon.

Tory

*laughs* think you can handle one so soon? We should play with blades next...I can teach you...sit down and remove your top...*heading off to find the bandages to wrap your ribs and the cool packs for wherever you need them*

Jodi

Well, soon for me...*pulls my shirt over my head, looking with interest at the bruises starting to form on my stomach.* Huh.

Tory

*wincing at the mottling bruises, handing you the cool packs and unwinding a length of bandage* I hope I didn't break you...

Jodi

Takes an ice pack and holds it to the largest of the bruises* Pfft. I don't break that easily.

Tory

You break easier than I do...hold this *placing the end of the roll at your waist and wrapping your ribs tight, the bandage concealing the bruises and the hint of guilt that tickles my brain annoyingly, cutting off the excess and fastening it* Ok...please don’t decide to die from unknown internal injuries...I'll be really pissed...you need me, you call...promise?

Jodi

Worry wort. *grimacing as you pull the tape tight* I don't suppose you grabbed any peroxide? I'll take care of my hands...

Tory

*darts back to fetch it, placing it beside you on the bench* yeah well...I don't have many human friends...I don't have friends for that matter...I have V...and then the rest of the world falls into enemies, randomers and acquaintances...

Jodi

*picks up the bottle of peroxide and spins the cap off, pouring it over my bloodied knuckles* Thanks, sweets. You're a good friend.

Tory

When I’m not trying to kill you...sure *grins* you gonna be okay getting home? I can give you a ride on my baby...

Jodi

*Gets to my feet, testing the bandages around my torso before pulling my shirt back on* No way. I have enough injuries for one day. I'll take a rain check. *smirks*

Tory

*shaking my head* Your loss...take a cab or something then...don’t make me stalk your ass to safety...*mock glares*

Jodi

*sighs* I'm just going to walk. I could use the air, I think.

Tory

*growls* I swear if you get mugged or worse...

Jodi

*blinks* Don't swear. It's not polite.

Tory

Fuck you...getcha ass home...take a bath so you don’t knot up...

Jodi

Yes, ma'am. *hugs you tightly*

Tory

*hugs you back, smiling softly* you're one of four people who can hug me...lucky female...see you later sweet...

Jodi

I'm honored. *tightens my lips* Goodbye, Tory. *pulls away, walking back through the weight room and out into the cold air.*

Tory

*sighs, following you out into the night and dematerializing back to the Penthouse*

Tempting Fate

The same droning bass lines. The same empty faces and hungry stares…it was all so commonplace as to be monotonous. I gave a bitter laugh and tossed back my second shot of whiskey. At least the liquor was top shelf here and that was more than I could say for the half dozen other clubs I’d tried since I’d moved to Caldwell. I pushed the empty glass away and signaled to the bartender for a refill, taking the fresh drink and lifting it to my lips, giving a sideways glance toward the darkened booth in the corner, separated from the undulating masses by a thick velvet rope.

He was looking at me again. I didn’t know how I was sure but, I was sure. His intense stare fixed in my direction, pale eyes glowing like the high beams on a Porsche. He could have been looking through me, or at one of the many painted and primped women that was currently writhing around me to the heartless beat of a drum machine. Or he could have simply been looking anywhere but at the female forms that surged and ebbed around him like a tide of sex swelling against the sides of the booth he and the other giant men currently occupied.

As a particularly bold peroxide blonde bent over him in an attempt to showcase her assets, my eyes widened as his mouth opened, presumably to accept her free sample, instead parting his lips, the pulsing rainbow strobes of the dance floor glinting on…fangs?  Those had to be a prop, those glue in numbers that I’d seen sported on the androgynous Goths that populated The Iron Mask. Of course. I shook my head at my own ridiculousness. Still, I lifted my eyes away from those full lips, face infusing a deep red to find him meeting my stare. Stop being such a wuss, Cobb. You’re not intimidated by anyone.

I had to laugh. These men weren’t just anyone. I’d seen them walk in, towers of muscle dripping in black leather, keen eyes scanning the crowd as if expecting an attack as the bodies around them parted in the wake of the trio of “fuck off” as they bee lined it to the booth in the back. The one in the front was spectacular. Teal eyes that set off his perfectly chiseled face, long blonde hair swinging with every loping step he took, is long stride sending his trench coat billowing out behind him. The one in the rear would have been equally as amazing save the cruel-looking scar that divided his face and curled his lips into a permanent snarl. His eyes were black pits that matched the turtleneck he wore though it was as hot as hell in here, his gaze fixed on his friend’s back as they stalked through the club to the rear. It was that friend…the second of the three that grabbed my attention now. Not that any part of the trio screamed “approachable”. In fact, they were almost scary. Fuck it. I had enough whiskey in me that nothing short of the Four Horsemen of the apocalypse was going to frighten me tonight.

I downed another finger of Jameson’s triple distilled and took to my feet, shoving through the turbulent pools of gathered bodies and trying hard not to roll my eyes at the club bunnies that were nearly clawing over each other to get the interest of one of the men.

I finally eased in behind a redhead wearing a skirt so tight that I was positive she squeaked when she walked to stand in front of their table, my eyes locked on him. Christ… if he was handsome from a distance, he was nothing short of breathtaking up close. His eyes were bright as stars, those lips framed by a thick black goatee and just begging to be kissed. I bit my lip and straightened my shoulders, willing myself not to wither under his unwavering stare. I silently thanked every deity I could think of that he couldn’t read minds… the only word I could think of to describe him was beautiful and I was positive he wouldn’t receive that particular adjective well.

Come on, Jodi…your fucking mouth works. Use it. I made a point of sizing up the other women around me, suddenly self-conscious of my faded too-tight jeans and tank, grateful that I’d at least worn heels. I felt a little less diminutive standing beside little miss fuck me.

Channeling all my bravado I jerked a thumb at the horde of breathing Barbie dolls. “Are those with you or do they come free with the drinks, Mr…?”

He barked out a laugh that lit his face beneath the brim of the Red Sox cap he wore. “More like part of the scenery, female. No mister here…just V.”

“Does the V stand for something? Victor? Vincent?” I thought of the fangs I’d seen peeking out. “Vlad?”

He laughed again, his friends turning to look at him in surprise as if the sound was alien to them and I sucked in a breath as the fangs made another appearance. “Vishous, female. The name’s Vishous.”

“Somehow that’s fitting…Vishous.” I tested the name on my tongue, nearly wanting to purr as it left my lips. With a nod, I motioned toward him. “Are those bottle openers? The fangs, I mean.”

He went serious at that, lips quickly closing over the subject. “What can I do for you, female? I’m not looking for play.”

“Silence is admission by default. The chompers are genuine. Fine and dandy.” I shrugged, surprisingly calm despite my discovery. “I’m not a toy. I thought you looked like you could use a laugh. I’m Jodi, Caldie’s newest resident pain in the ass. I have my AA in Sarcasm working toward my BA in Go Fuck Yourself and hoping for a Master’s in Hard Ass Rehabilitation.” That earned me a loud laugh from Mr. Perfect, the massive blonde’s hand smacking the table before he caught a nasty look from Vishous, quickly sobering him.

“Sorry, V but that was fuck funny.” He nodded in my direction. “Jodi, you said? Name’s Rhage…sometimes Hollywood and always at your service.” He flashed a toothy grin and winked and I chuckled in spite of the nasty glares I was getting from the other women gathered around, all but falling into the booth in an attempt to worm their way into the convo.

“Rhage.” I nodded. “Your boy here always this serious?”

“As a heart attack, female. But maybe you can help him with that. And if not him, then I have something you can help me with.” It was impossible to miss the innuendo in his words, brow arched watching his eyes roam appreciatively over me.

“It looks to me like you already have more help than you need, Rhage. But thanks for the invite. I’ll keep it in mind.” I turned back to Vishous, not missing the evil eye he was giving his buddy, his voice turning icy and coming out almost as a growl.

“Yeah, brother. You’re hands are already full, true?” I smiled at that and he seemed to relax, gloved thumb tracing the rim of the tumbler in his hand.

“Vodka?”

“Goose.”

“You are a masterful conversationalist, Vishous. It’s as enlightening as talking to a brick wall.”

His lip quirked into a crooked grin.“Not much for small talk, feel me?”

“Fine, then don’t talk and I’ll continue to pester you until you relent and admit that you don’t know how you ever stood to come in this place without me in it.”

He shook his head, thinly disguising the widening of his smile as he adjusted his cap.“You have a way with words, pet.”

“Pet?”

“You prefer female?”

“I prefer whatever you want to call me, Vishous. I’m not demanding.”

“I am. Take a seat.” He motioned to the upholstered cushion across from him and I slid in like my ass was greased. “I’m honored.”

“Don’t be. My attention isn’t really something you want, pet.” His brow creased at that, diamond eyes dropping to the vodka he swirled in his glass.

“Too late, tall dark and fangy. I have it and no matter what you think, I do want it.” I cocked my head and started to reach out to tilt back the cap, frowning as he flinched and pulled away.

“Don’t.”

“Don’t what? You don’t like being touched?”

“No, I… no.”

“Give me time.” I gave him a reassuring smile and got to my feet. “I don’t give up easily, Vishous and you just worked your way into my heart.” I laughed though my words held more truth than I was willing to admit. “I have to go for now but, I promise you…you’re going to think about me later.”

I smiled wide at the other men and stepped down off of the platform, feeling the weight of their eyes on my back as I threaded through the rippling masses to the exit.

Vishous sat back in the seat, watching me until he couldn’t see me anymore.

“I already am, pet. I already am.”