Guardian Angel

The crack of my heels on the pavement rang in my ears like gunshots as I wandered without direction past the parade of bars and clubs that lined the city streets. I’d been walking for hours -or maybe it was days- moving blindly through the neon lit maze of downtown Caldwell, trying to outrun the horror of the night before.  I hugged my arms to my chest, the chill in the night air slicing bone-deep despite the over-sized fleece I’d pulled on after my shower. Showers, I corrected. I’d stayed under the scalding spray until my skin was red and raw from the heat, scrubbing mercilessly, trying desperately to wash away his touch. The memory had come in flashes, cutting through the alcohol-induced fog and I swallowed hard against the rising wave of nausea, I could still feel his hands… oh, God his hands had been… shaking off the thought and wiping away an errant tear I stopped to get my bearings, looking around at the towers of concrete and glass that surrounded me, surprised to find myself once again standing in front of the Commodore, even more surprised when I opened the door and stepped into the lobby, crossing the mosaic floor to the elevators and pressing the button for the top floor. 

I had no idea what made me want to come to this place… what force compelled me to find Vishous. We’d barely spoken since he’d taken leave of the Brotherhood and our last meeting was tenuous at best. Our dream rendezvous had come to a gut-wrenching end only to have the male he kept as a brother turn me out with little warning. My brows drew together at the memory of how agitated he’d seemed to learn that Tohr had cast me aside. Though for all his anger, I’d never feared him. When people looked at him, they saw six and a half feet of rock hard muscle and a frightening brilliance behind the piercing white eyes. At the mere sight of him, males shrank back in fear and females sank to their knees in worship. I’d done neither, both infuriating and entertaining him to a point that even left me wondering how he’d tolerated my antics. For all of his intelligence, I doubted he’d ever realized why I pushed him. Why I’d tried so hard, daring to challenge and provoke a male of such ruthless reputation. My lips curled into a soft smile at the memories - it had all been to make him laugh.  Behind the seemingly insurmountable wall of “fuck you” he’d so painstakingly constructed, there was a sadness about him that made me think the social isolation wasn’t entirely self-imposed. It pained me to see it and I’d never been one to let anyone hurt if there was a way I could help. So I’d continued to taunt and tease, daring to hug and kiss him without permission, pushing the limits of his temper and tolerance until he wasn’t sure whether he should shoot me or roll with laughter. Bit by bit, I’d chipped away at the wall and I don’t think he even realized I’d done it.

Until the night he took my vein. My resolve faltered, chest aching at the memory. It seemed like so long ago. A lifetime had passed since that instant when I thought that the warrior might see me as more than a nameless female that faded into the throng of adoring followers, fighting each other for a turn on his rack. That wasn’t what I’d wanted and it had taken me too long to see it. I’d wanted the male behind the legend, not the archangel of sexual prowess and dark pleasure the stories made him out to be. I didn’t want Vishous the master. I wanted Vishous. Plain and simple. And I’d lost him before I’d realized what had happened in my heart. Given myself to another male who could never make me feel what I did for the diamond-eyed brother.

That was all past now. A painful blur of can’t haves and never weres. My hope of being any more than a one time pet to Vishous had fallen away as the compound disappeared in my rearview that night.

Nervously worrying at my lip, I watched the floors tick by, unsure of whether he’d be home or if he’d even let me in assuming he wasn’t out on patrol tonight. I was only a pet -a favorite pet but, a pet none-the-less- what was I hoping for here? That he would sweep me into his powerful embrace and swear vengeance on the male who’d hurt me? A pretty fantasy but doubtful and not just because Tory had already left the son of a bitch in intensive care.

Still, Vishous had always been there, a menacing guardian angel looming constantly on the periphery of my life. Even when in the arms of another, my mind would wander back to the diamond-eyed warrior…the way his irises seemed to glow underneath the brim of the ever-present ball cap, mouth unwillingly twisted into a lop-sided grin when I’d refused to cower before him as the other females did. There was a tenderness when he touched me and he’d let me touch him, such a small thing but it had meant the world to me. For all his cold indifference, I’d felt something… seen something in the way he looked at me. Laughing bitterly, I raked my hands through the tousled waves of my hair… sure, Jodi… tall, dark and fangy is your knight in shining armor… fuck this was stupid, the trauma of the situation was obviously making me delusional. Still my feet were on autopilot as the elevator doors opened and I stepped out onto the landing, making my way down the hall to his door, determined not to show the weakness I felt. Raising a fist, I pounded on the Penthouse door, trying in vain to slow the hammering beat of my heart as I waited. Of course, he wasn’t here. Why would he be? Shoulders sagging I turned to head back to the elevator, my retreat halted by the metallic click of a deadbolt sliding free. Eyes wide I spun around to see the door swing open, and Vishous’s leather-clad form stepped into the hall.

“Evening, pet.” Looking into his eyes, the tenuous hold on my frayed emotions snapped and the tears I’d been suppressing flowed down my cheeks in crystalline streams. “Oh, my lheage…” I’d had time to form a single thought… I’m home… before I threw myself into his arms.