Thursday, January 19, 2012

Trying Not to Love You


Vishous
Fuck… me… was the only thing I could come up with after what I had seen, my mind was reeling and over analyzing every little detail about the vision I just had. My heart was trying to rip free from my rib cage while my lungs struggled to keep a breath just enough so I could stay conscious. Just because I was all knowing, a warrior and a motherfucking vampire, didn’t mean I couldn’t suffer a panic attack. Slowly I found myself falling into the darkest pit of my soul. That dark voice inside my head had the biggest smug smirk he could ever muster ~You thought you were going to have this happily ever after? Laughable. You don’t deserve such a female, true~ the darkness, the bitterness coming from that voice had always been there, perched high on the fringes of my mind just waiting for the moment I came crashing down and apparently I wasn’t wrong. Then again, I’m never wrong. Maybe I had just hoped for the best, that maybe the mess that was this brother had one chance to redeem himself. I snorted while I pinched the bridge of my nose. My worst nightmare had finally come true and I was not about to keep the best thing that had happened to me away from her destiny. My expression hardened, the hell with my future I would do anything for Jodi, even if that meant giving her up so she could find her happiness. All self pity aside it took me approximately 5 seconds to get the hell out of the room were the vision of my doom sent me in a downward spiral. The old V was back in full force and that meant.. no more mush, no more heart, just straight up logic. 

 The heavy footfalls of my shitkickers bounced off the walls of the tunnels that led to the mansion and my destination, my workshop. Once there, I could recite the old scribes of our race, go through ages of laws, mathematical problems, complex encryption that will eventually get the brotherhood a step ahead of the Lessening Society. Smelly fuckers had to go down. I had to pat myself on the back for how quickly I fell back into the routine of being cold and calculated. The light from the small security panel flickered to life when my presence was detected by the program I had installed as soon as the brotherhood had taken a permanent residence in the ostentatious palace-like place. The sliding door opened with a whoosh, allowing my diamond eyes to fall on a table that had scattered tools on either side of the spot I usually sit on. The temperature increased when the door closed behind me and I took my leather jacket off placing it on a perch I kept specifically for my jacket and weapons. Not tonight though. I was going to sharpen the hell out of my daggers and if it just so happens I get hurt in the process, so be it. Not a second went by without me going over some complicated procedure to keep in complete and total lock down, the images were sure to torment me sooner or later when the walls suppressing the memory came crumbling down. At the moment, reciting the alphabet in Chinese seemed like a good way to go, at least for now. Taking the steps that would close the distance between me and my work table one at a time.. one.. two… and again. Standing in front of the wooden table I rubbed the center of my chest as if it could alleviate the agony of my heart shattering as I unsheathed my dagger, its weight an old friend resting in my palm, my hand instinctively closing around the hilt in a death grip that left my knuckles screaming under the worn leather of my glove.  With an earsplitting growl, my hand came down sinking the blade into the scarred wood, the jarring blow sending a wave of pain radiating up my arm. It was like hitting at a 92 mph fastball with a shitty swing. You felt the goddamn impact to the bone. This was good. This kind of pain, I knew…I could handle. Leather creaking as I flexed my hand, I sucked in a ragged breath through clenched teeth and plopped down on the worn seat. Like the anal OCD kind of male I was I started taking out the necessary tools from their places and placed them in order one next to the other on either side of the table. Each tool lined up perfectly equidistant from one another. After everything was set, I leaned over to examine the blade before I started working. My brows knitted in concentration while I worked over the blade somehow I ended up wielding, trying to make sure the design on the blade was not faded. Words in the Old Language formed a silent pledge to protect our race through any means necessary. However, mine was different. No one in the brotherhood had seen this one and its encryption. The reason was because I rarely used it but I always carried it with me. My work was interrupted by the sound of the mechanism of the door, my body tensing in an instant. Only two residents of this compound knew the password to my workshop and fuck please let it not be… my words died when the scent of the male filled the air. I let out a breath that I didn’t know I was holding before I turned back to my work. Butch walked in like he owned the place and for any intents and purposes he did. His stride was smooth and he took his time which meant he had something in his mind and was preparing to give one of his longwinded speeches. For a moment the only sounds in the room were the crackle of the fire in the boiler, metal scraping against metal with each calculated move, and the soft footfalls of the cop’s shitkickers. I counted... three… two… one. “V, my man” he stood there taking one of the tools from the table, throwing and catching it with a swift twirl of his hand. I kept busy while he gathered his thoughts enough to say “we gotta talk”. He was worried as hell, I could tell that just by the way he stood, tense stance of a concerned male. Me being the dick I always am – ‘So talk, cop. I ain’t got all night. Places to be, lessers to kill’ – I could almost feel the burning glare of his hazel eyes on the top of my head while I feigned concentration on the blade. “Aren’t you the sunshine of my life, fucker” he threw the tool back on the table, successfully making a mess of my work place. The ass really knew how to throw me off my game. I thought – Not tonight, cop – and took the next tool out of the pile and kept at it. “Can’t you just fucking stop for a goddamn minute?” his fists connected to the wooden table making everything rattle with his anger. Knowing the cop all too well I slowly set everything aside and looked up at the pissed off male. I sat up and met his glare with one of my own. It wasn’t like it was something personal against Butch but hell, have a vision about your female with another male would really kick the mood out of you, true. ‘You’ve got my attention, now talk so I can get back to my work, true’ his brows shifted slightly, knowing he’d caught on to my mood the second he looked into my eyes. “Something’s not right with you, man” his accent thick, making the right sound like raht, then he stood to his full height and crossed his arms “you’ve gone to the extreme this time with the whole avoiding your female thing” his face showed the concern of the best friend that had no clue how to solve what seemed to be crumbling right in front of him. “You’re not you, this…” he pointed at me then proceeded to whisper “Did you know your female’s spending every night at the club? Drinking like I used to when Marissa…” his voice seemed to catch some, even the memory hurt, thank you bonded male psychosis “…when we were apart.” he shook his head to erase the pain from his expression. The crackle of the fire broke the awkward silence. He cleared his throat, he was not about to back down just with that. “Vishous” I looked away from him, that kind of affection, even if it was him, it still made me uncomfortable “is there something else doing? V, you gotta talk to me before you lose the reason for being. Jodi doesn’t deserve it” he knew it was a low blow but I knew he wanted to give me a shock treatment get me to snap. Anger, sadness… he could deal, me being an arrogant, isolated asshole, not so much. I threw my head back staring at the ceiling, a heavy sigh falling from my lips. There were a million things I could’ve said, a million ways to explain it but… the dark spices of my bonding scent filled the room as I started to mourn the loss of my female. My voice void of emotion ‘She’s gonna leave me, cop. Jodi…she’s going to leave me’. I could hear the intake of breath coming from the male standing in front of me. “You… what? Vishous” his brows knitted together, confusion tainting his expression when he rounded the table to stand beside me, a heavy palm falling on my shoulder. Any other would’ve lost his limb. I heaved a sigh, head hanging between my shoulders. The cop whispered “A vision?” I nodded slowly. He gave my shoulder a squeeze and stood with me, a broken male, wallowing in pain for a long silent moment. “Are you sure that’s what you saw? I mean, shit, don’t get me wrong but sometimes your visions are not complete. And… you don’t always interpret them as they were intended. Perhaps it was just.. uh… fuck” he cursed under his breath and stopped rambling. My diamond eyes fixed on the blade that lay on the table giving off a glint from the crackling fire. ‘I saw her happy in another male’s arms, someone I didn’t know. How many ways are there to interpret that? Should I just ignore the love in her eyes when she looked at him? Or perhaps the loving embrace in which I saw them?’ I shook my head ‘nothing much to get from that, cop’ he cursed again and crossed his arms over his chest. If anyone understood what this, what I was feeling was, it was him. Even after his transition and his initiation to the brotherhood, he felt like he was incomplete until the moment his female received him with opened arms… so to speak. Butch was leaning against the table deep in thought while I tried to shake off the vision of my female in another male’s arms. After a heavy sigh he turned to me “V, I can imagine what you’re going through but…” this caught my attention, what was he up to, I looked up at him with a questioning look “Jodi is here right now. Maybe… maybe” he even had a hard time saying it “you can lose her who knows when” he paused for a moment “but fuck, man, you’ve got to take what you have while you have it” his frown deepened, probably thinking about what he would do and even if he would follow his own advice. Apparently he decided he would and with a nod looked into my eyes. “Put her first, V. You better than anyone knows that you’ve got to live your life the best you can with what you have” he looked at his shitkickers and shifted his weight “the sanity of a warrior in this constant war depends on those small moments that will keep you grounded, your reason for waking up” he chuckled some staring at the boiler “weird to hear that from me, true” he shook his head “I guess after you have it you just can’t believe you ever lived without it and actually lived to fight another day”. The asshole actually made me chuckle and for a moment I thought about something else. ‘Well well well, who’d have thought you’d had that in you, cop’ I flashed a halfhearted grin ‘you’re gaining eloquence you never thought you’d had’ he gave me a soft smack on the back of my head and we both returned, even if for just a second, to our old selves. After a moment we both fell silent both deep in thought. The cop after all was right, perhaps before I wouldn’t have given it a thought but now.. well… it was different. A heavy palm patted my back while he pushed himself off the table “Come on, man. Let’s go so you can find your female” I looked up at him, fucking smartass cop. I gave him a curt nod and stood taking my dagger with me. It felt like we both were marching to my death sentence and for now we would mourn. When I laid my eyes on Jodi, it would all change and I would try my best to be what she needed now. Armed and leathered up we both walked to the Escalade, he tossed me the keys and without wasting time I put the key in the ignition and gunned out of the compound heading for ZS. The drive back to the club was uneventful and quiet. The cop had occupied himself with setting up tunes for the drive there and playing with the cross that never left his neck while I drummed my fingers on the steering wheel to the beat of Jay Z. Just as I turned right so we could park on our regular spot when heading to the club, I willed the radio off to gain the cop’s attention. He turned to look at me with a brow raised, I just kept staring straight ahead until the Escalade was parked engine off. I took a deep breath as if this was the most painful thing I could ever say ‘Cop… I can’t predict what’s going to happen’ I paused for a moment and closed my eyes ‘I might need help... after... true’ this time I turned to look at Butch. I didn’t know how bad I was going to have it or even if I was going to be able to be a shadow of my former self. But whatever it was, if I was going to keep being a brother, I was going to need help from the cop. He understood without any further explanation. This was it. The moment went and passed without so much of a glitch. Both of us got out of the Escalade and passed through security like a breeze, nothing to stop us even though it earned us jealous glares from the waiting crowd. The atmosphere of the club was as always filled with writhing bodies that flooded the dance floor with whatever was blaring off the speakers. Music. Laughable concept. My eyes scanned the area as if pinpointing the enemy.
Jodi
*twirls the shot glass in my hands before sliding it over to join the other empties on the bar, my dour mood worsening by the moment as the male who’d parked himself next to me continued to brag about his newfound stamina to his friends after returning from the private bathrooms in the back with what I believe had been girl number three... or maybe it was four… shaking my head, I motioned to the bartender for a refill. *“Here, let’s ask this one. Hey, baby… me and my boys want you to join us.” *looks over, suppressing the urge to roll my eyes at the trifecta of Aeropostale poster children beside me* Sorry, I’m not up to babysitting tonight. *turns back to my drink and downs it, glancing around the club, sucking in a breath at the sight of Vishous stalking through the crowd, eyes darting around in search of…something. Not willing to face the humiliation of his rejection again, I was going to do what any self respecting woman would do… I was going to slink off with my tail between my legs.* “I said you’re with us tonight, baby.” *Teeth clenched against another biting retort, I tossed a handful of bills on the counter and slid off the barstool, shrugging off the male’s arm* And I said I’m not interested. You boys have a good night. *ducking around the end of the bar, I beat feet down the corridor that ran past the private stalls, grateful that the earsplitting bass drowned out the noise I was sure was spilling out from beneath the doors, the gruesome threesome hot on my heels as I threw open the heavy steel door leading outside into the alleyway.* “Hey, you aren’t leaving the party yet.” *A strong hand gripped my arm, pulling me hard against his chest and leaning in to inhale deeply. “You belong to someone?" *He grinned evilly, looking around at his friends.* "Since he’s not here, he won’t mind us having a taste before you go.” *My eyes went wide in panic as his canines punched into his mouth, jerking against his hold in a fight to pull free, I was desperate to get back inside to Vishous and the brothers, a shriek ripping from my throat as a pair of fangs tore into my wrist*

Vishous
The cop patted my back in encouragement; he knew I had to do this on my own. In a matter of minutes I spotted the slender back of my female retreating to the rear exit. Dodging spastic bodies and unwanted attention, I was a male with a purpose as I followed Jodi outside thinking it would be better to just get it out of the way now. My eyes narrowed into slits when I saw the males following after her, didn't I know them from somewhere? My body tensed while the bonded male in me screamed what the HELL where they doing after MY female. A low hiss fell from my lips, not far from the spot I was,  the cop stopped and looked over his shoulder at me noticing the feral expression that had taken its place. He followed my gaze and spotted the problem, cursing under his breath he looked to our table. He heaved a sigh of relief when he spotted Hollywood, who proceeded make a big show of calling us... until he saw that both the cop and I shared an expression that was anything but friendly. That was all it took, he joined us in the few strides it took us both to reach the middle ground. Then, 3 mean motherfuckers stalked towards the back exit where the bodies I had seen had disappeared into. No one dared get in our way. I led the way, our formation maintained as if we were ready for battle and in a way.. we were. I pushed the door opened hoping that no one had laid a finger on Jodi, the vision might have told me otherwise but that female was still MINE. My skin prickled at the thought of anything happening.... the cold night hit me, the next thing I knew I picked up the scent of blood close by. My head snapped on the direction of the scent, a scent I knew and could almost taste. My mind barely registered the "Oh fuck"s and "goddamnit"s drifting from behind me when for the second time tonight an earsplitting growl fell from my lips. Everything seemed to slow down, my body tensed ready to attack, arms captured me mid air and pinned me to the wall, like a trapped animal I started thrashing trying to get rid of whatever was holding me back. Rhage's voice sounded so far away "Get those fucking spoiled kids outta here, cop" the strain in his voice was a sure sign how pissed he was. The cop cursed and turned back to his professional self, after he shoved the fuckers away from Jodi "You've got about 3 seconds before we let our buddy over there" he nodded his head in my direction, my jaw snapping like I was a fucking animal "have his little play" he snarled "you've just pissed off 3 brothers, feel me?"

Jodi
*my stomach churned at the searing pain shooting up my arm, throat raw from screaming for Vishous I thrashed to break free of the hand clamped onto my wrist, swallowing down the bile that rose in my throat at the sickening suction of the male’s mouth as he drank in eager mouthfuls, dark eyes pleading at his friends who’d stepped back in fearful uncertainty, obviously not on board with their ringleader’s idea of fun, the door behind him opened carrying the din from the club into the alley, Vishous and his brothers appearing in a halo of multicolored light flashing from the dance floor inside. “Oh…shit! Drop her, man! Now!” The terrified male voices behind me rose to near hysterics at the sight of Vishous torquing wildly in Rhage’s arms, his face a mask of crazed fury throwing his brother back in a bid for escape, the male releasing my wrist as Butch’s deep voice rang through the alley. “Get gone. NOW!” Cradling my arm to my chest, I backed against the rough brick wall behind me, oblivious to the flow of crimson streaming down my shirt, sagging in relief as the pounding of designer shoes on pavement carried the males into the shadows of the Caldwell night*

Vishous
Still snarling and snapping my teeth towards the direction of those little fuckers, very vivid and gory images flashed through my head with all the things I wish to do to those brats.. someone was going to pay for this shit. My body shaking with anger as the dark spices of my bonding scent filled the cold Caldwell air in that small dark alley, the scent drifting through the entire place warning off any other males that so much as dared walk this way. My maniac, psychotic, "Doctor Lector" moment started to vanish when my eyes flickered to the cop who was slowly approaching Jodi as if afraid she'd be in too much of a shock and actually be scared of the southie good Catholic male. Hands slightly raised he examined as best as he could the wound that had splattered blood all over my female’s body that moment my anger drained, the bonded male in me soaring to life wanting... no... needing to make sure Jodi was ok or that she would be. The cop said "Hey, Jodi? You ok?" my eyes trained on the smaller frame slumped against the bricked wall -Hollywood- my voice was strained and husky all at the same time -Let me go- any other day he would've argued but not tonight, as a bonded male himself he understood "Ok, my man. Just.. be careful" I nodded slowly, my eyes never leaving Jodi -I need you and the cop to get out of here RIGHT.FUCKING.NOW- both of them raised their hands and they whispered "Ok man, take care of your female" I growled low -Oh trust me I fucking will- I heard for a moment the retreating steps of two pairs of shitkickers, the blare of the loud music came the moment the door opened. I heard the metal close behind me a second... the next my body was a blur of movements, one moment I was standing a few feet away from Jodi, the next I had her in my arms my mouth crashed to hers as I claimed her in the most passionate, rough kiss I could muster, my tongue immediately seeking entrance to the warmth of your mouth..needing more..more...so much more-

Jodi
V, I’m alr… *the word went unfinished as I was pinned to the wall by 260lbs of warrior, your mouth covering mine stealing the breath that the impact forced from my lungs, my tongue curling around yours I wound my arms around your neck and held your lips to mine, the fear of the night forgotten as you covered me with your giant frame, your cock demanding, straining against your leathers to press against me your body's intent crystal clear, whimpering into the kiss I knotted my fingers in your hair and arched into you, bracing for what I was certain would make up for the time we'd spent apart*

Vishous
-groans and grunts mix into the heated kiss, my hips grinding against Jodi while my bonding scent bathed her in dark spices each movement of my body created a new wave of the intoxicating scent as if it could cleanse you from that filthy scent that was clinging to Jodi's body, each stroke of my tongue was countered with one of yours, the time apart had done nothing to dim the hunger we both felt for the other. Not only where we giving ourselves physically but.. there was more.. like the pieces had finally fallen back to where they belonged. Where they longed to be in such a way that no amount of closeness seemed enough to fill that ravenous hunger the scent of your blood hint me anew when we both started gasping for air, my chest brushing against yours with each panted breath we took with a growl of frustration I pulled back, fangs fully extended with the need to take the blood, to erase the memory of that male's lips on Jodi's velvety skin, my diamond eyes held yours the moment I grabbed your hand with such a tender and delicate touch that seemed out of character for me. Then when your wrist was close enough to my lips I whispered 'Mine.. mine.. mine' just a moment before my tongue darted out to sweep over your wound, slow long strokes of my tongue over your pulse, ignoring the scent of the male to taste the sweet sweet blood of my shellan filling my mouth, one of my hands reached for my dagger and I pointed the sharp blade to the material of your jeans, with a swift flick of my wrist a button went flying across the paved ground-

Jodi
*it had been far too long, the heat in your eyes was all it took for me to seize the moment and reach between us to wrench open your leathers, my fingers closing around your rigid length, a triumphant smile curving my lips as I leaned up to claim your mouth, my tongue stroking over your fangs while I freed your cock from its confines, my heart beating frantically in my chest in wild anticipation at finally ending the painful separation that had plagued me for weeks, a fleeting thought of the date passing from my mind as quickly as it had entered, I broke the kiss to look up into the glowing brilliance of your eyes* Please, nallum... I need you...

Vishous
-it wouldn't be long before we both exploded, no inhibitions, no holding back even if it was in the back of the dark alley of ZS. The moment Jodi said those words I was done for, there was no going back from this point and after another flick of my wrist the tearing of the material giving to the sharp edge of my blade, sheathing the dagger in the next lucid moment... my eyes held yours to show everything I had ever wanted to say but couldn't, the moment giving way to the need. My hands roughly grabbed your jeans and pulled, successfully tearing it by the seams, pieces of the material flying everywhere just as I hitch you up and trap you against the brick wall, no time to worry about anything else but the need to mark you in every way possible. My throbbing length slipping out of your hand to rub against the flimsy material that still kept me away from your wet core.. not for long.. with one last frustrated growl I pulled and ripped what was left, without giving you any time to adjust or any other kind of warning I guided my cock against your core in one swift thrust I was buried deep inside you, leaving me breathless the moment our bodies joined-

Jodi
*my head falling back against the wall, I breathed a throaty moan and banded my legs tight around your hips, sleek flesh stretching for you as you plunge hilt deep into my core, gasping at the shock as you fill me, my nails scoring down your back when you start to move, the hammering drive of your cock crushing me against the wall, the rough brick biting into my back, rubbing my skin raw through the thin cloth of my shirt, pulling close I bit down on your shoulder to stifle a scream, eyes squeezed shut against the excruciating pleasure coursing through me, wanting to cry in ecstatic relief that the missing piece of   me had been returned, bodies fused, moving together in fevered harmony, consumed with the need to take and be taken as I bit savage kisses up to your jaw, my throaty cries muffled by the stubbled skin of your neck as I held you close, your massive form enveloping me as you pounded into the liquid heat of my sex*

Vishous
-the silence of the night broken by the symphony of moans, groans, and grunts coming from us both, my body felt on fire with you the fuel needed to keep me going, my gloved hand skim over the skin of your smaller back to find the inked skin that marked you as mine, with a slight added pressure to your skin I pulled you closer to me... muscles tensed with each push and retreat of my hips, flesh pounded against flesh, fuck there was just no getting rid of this hunger I felt for your body, my breathing picking up as we both got closer to our release, the irrational thought of a bonded male forced me to fuck the image of the male out of your brains, carve myself to your very bones if necessary, with a harsh intake of breath my hand grabbed a fistful of your hair and roughly pulled your head to the side to expose your neck to me, waiting only for a second so you knew that it was still me, this was still made out of... love, before I hissed the strong pulse in your neck beckons me in and I can't fight it anymore -Fuck- I leaned in to sink my fangs in your neck, a place where everyone could see... that you.... belonged... to me-

Jodi
Holy Christ... VISHOUS! *my eyes snap open at the exquisite pain of your strike, my fingers digging into the taut muscle of your shoulders the rhythmic suck and swallow as you feed matching the relentless thrust of your hips as you pushed me past the threshold of blissful oblivion, crying out my pleasure as the orgasm crashes into me with atomic force, clinging to you as I ride the relentless waves of ecstasy that threatened to tear me apart, my thighs tightening around you, urging you deeper as my walls gripped you in pulses of rippling wet silk, my back rubbed raw against the brick facade but beyond caring as I trembled in your arms*

Vishous
-it was hard to explain the intensity of the moment, to be inside my female like this, both my fangs and my cock buried inside you, there was just nothing like it and never in my life had I experienced anything similar, anything that felt this fucking good couldn't just be found anywhere, the union of both body and soul igniting the flames of a never dying love, my hands held you while you rode the orgasm the taste of your blood flowing freely down my throat had me drugged, intoxicated from your very essence, the pulsing ripples of your core milked my arousal. I had to concentrate to last as long as I did, for the moment I let go my senses were momentarily incapacitated with the atomic force of my release. My seed filling you with each hard jerk of my hips against yours while I moaned against your skin...left breathless and holding a trembling shellan, I slowly pulled back to seal the wounds that were sure to leave a mark for some time, a smug grin curled my lips when I looked at my trembling female. We were both spent and fucking satisfied. A sultry whisper fell from my lips against her ear We are nowhere near done, shellan mine satisfied by the way her body reacted to my words I pulled back, a ragged breath came from my lips when my half-hardened length slipped out of your heated core. I took Jodi in my arms pulled up the mhis and looked for my female's truck...I needed more of Jodi, more time alone in the confines of our home truck spotted with her in my arms, the glint in my eyes made for a promising... long... night.




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