The Devil You Know

-heavy footsteps followed my movements, for the first time in a long time I was the one leading the way with Butch, I was so wired I had to look for the lessers myself, he just kind of pointed the way and off I fucking went.. the cop was being a pain in the ass since I looked him up a few hours earlier, his hoarse voice still rang through my ears "You gotta stop with your bullshit man, I can see you go all crazy eyed and shit" his eyes were like lasers examining and pinpointing each and every weakness in my almost unbreakable armor "Don't let this go too far or I'll be forced to step in, feel me?" shaking his head he added "you can't do this to me and your shellan" his hazel eyes lifted as he met my gaze head on "we will stand together and we won't let you go" I knew what he meant... I knew I could count on them both for that sick, depraved side of me... if only I deserved such love... jolted back to the present as I skidded at the end of an alley, the bastards were close, even I could smell them, biting back a growl I scanned the area as I flicked the dagger in my hand, over and over again, my diamond eyes moving and taking in every fucking detail of the alley, fuck it was empty.. where the hell were the assholes? "Relax my man" Butch patting my back started to walk before me, going to the dumpster nearby and "Jackpot, one unlucky bastard" he went to do his shit, pulling the fucker out of the stinking place and didn't that just make it better? Powdery garbage.. well at least it seemed to fit the bastard, leaning against the brick wall and closing my eyes for a moment, I couldn't help but go back to the last time I felt Jodi's touch and for fuck's sake why couldn't I just be what she needed? No I had to be a broken warrior that needed... no... that CRAVED the pain that could only be received at the Penthouse.. at least for me, it's been a very long time since I had even talked to my acquaintances back in that dom/sub world... not only did the vampires keep it a secret but it was a closed circle you had a better chance at attempting to find my hideouts than to actually find the members of this 'elite' group.. not that there was much to be excited or even proud of, well not for me, if you asked any of the other members they would probably have my balls.. ball.. for even thinking that, hearing the cop cough brought me back to reality and I shook the thoughts of that old life, walking towards him I made sure he was ok "Yeah, man. This ain't nothing, true?" he was looking at me and I really did believe him- You're getting too used to this shit cop -chuckles and he chips in "Fuck yeah, who else has this vacuum power? Just me, that's who" shaking my head I gave him a push and we started to go at it again, managing to score just one more lesser was beyond frustrating, doing nothing to ease the need if it wasn't for the fact that the cop was practically glued to my ass I would've let that lesser use me as his punching bag just to take the edge off or just long enough until I grew tired and snapped, ripping him until there were unrecognizable bloody pieces surrounding me and I was back to feeling like shit for thinking that... it was actually a great fantasy... I checked my phone for like the tenth time and there was just nothing going on, Z hadn't found anything and Rhage was enjoying his play time with 2 lessers.. oddly enough everyone was having their fun except me.. gritting my teeth I ran past the cop yet again and this time I saw him, speeding up planning on catching up to have the much needed fun with my dagger, I dematerialized and materialized just right so he practically slammed against me, I could hear and make out the screams and curses of the cop but I was already on a fucking mind-frame and only slicing the lesser up will kick me back to reality.. as I appear in front of him, I almost laughed at the face of the lesser, it was like the perfect 'kodak' moment, shit like this should go on the internet as 'Scared-shitless pussy' had a nice ring to it too... concentrating on avoiding the powdery fucker I moved like a football player, balancing on my feet just right to turn at the exact moment he decided to pick up his speed and try to tackle me- Try again, bitch -snarling as I turned and took another dagger out, this last one I threw it and connected on the spot just above his right knee... his scream of sheer agony was music to my ears, not wasting any time I ran for it and as he collapsed I threw a high kick that connected just right with his jaw, hearing the satisfactory crunch of bones as my shitkicker hits home, he didn't even see it coming but the moment my foot touched ground I wheeled around and dug my other dagger in his stomach... black oily blood was every way I looked, the lesser was going down like a ton of bricks spitting out blood, as much as he could with a broken jaw but his stomach wound... well that was the bitch, just then the cop came in running "Oh thank fuck" looking over my shoulder I cocked a brow- What? -he just gave me a look and shrugged "Nothing, just worried" about me going bat shit crazy went unsaid- Yeah it's all good, true -in that moment as the cop leaned down to 'tend to the lesser' my phone vibrated and I muttered- If it's Hollywood with yet another photo of a fucked up lesser I'm biting his head off -flipping the damn phone opened I noticed it was from Jodi and... frowning I reread it like a thousand times... what the hell was that supposed to mean? Fixing me? Like Jodi had something wrong? A bad feeling set deep in my stomach, I scrolled over to my especially designed application, typing in the code in the phone I managed to pinpoint the location Jodi was in... my diamond eyes grew wide and a cold sweat ran down my back... no... that place... the address... she went... she found.... Jodi went to him... only the cop's voice brought me out of my thoughts "Woah, man. What's doing? You look about ready to murder someone" it was then I caught the dark spices of my bonding scent stinking up the place, my voice was low and cold when I said- I have to go, something might've happened to my Jodi -Butch instantly understood the feeling and I could swear he grew protective too but I was beyond any reason, my rational side went out the window as the bonded male in me took over- Go to Hollywood -giving him the location- I'm off -he nodded as I dematerialized a few yards away from the place I used to know, the place I had pegged as my escape, a loud growl escaped my lips and there was no more thinking.. with the dagger in hand I ran to the huge building if the fucker had so much as touched her.... my vision grew red.. I pushed the door open, hinges flying as I broke the fucking thing I would find them and I would take back my shellan.... he's a fucking dead male.. was my last thought as I headed their way-

Into the Lion's Den

*quickly texting Vishous <Fixing me. I love you.~J> I dropped my phone onto the nightstand next to the open book, a change of clothes and a tall glass of whiskey later I sat in the cab of my old truck staring at the brick façade of a downtown warehouse, nervously drumming my fingers on the steering wheel… FUCK FUCK FUCK…raking a hand through my hair and stepping out into the night air, stilettos cracking sharply on the asphalt, rounding the corner into the alley and finding the side entrance, pausing to smooth the front of the burgundy corset I’d squeezed into, palms running down over leather pants that molded to my thighs like a second skin. Raising my fist I pounded on the door, heart racing as thunderous footsteps stomped toward me and it was flung wide, the opening nearly filled by a looming form that could only belong to Aihdan… Jesus, he was huge, the hard contours of his bare chest accented by a steel hoop in each nipple, long blond hair woven into a tight plait that hung over his shoulder, he would have been spectacularly handsome under different circumstances, stepping back as he looked me over, appraising me with cautious silver eyes, squaring my shoulders I met his stare* Aihdan... “You are not to speak. Enter.” *nodding curtly, silently reminding myself that I was doing this for Vishous I squeezed past his giant frame doing my damnedest not to touch him in the process* “You will follow me.” *falling in step behind him, walking along a dimly lit hallway and down a narrow staircase, stopping at the foot of the stairs to survey the expansive room…sweet Jesus… two walls mounted with chains and shackles at varying heights, the remaining space adorned with whips, flails and masks of every conceivable material and size, the center of the room dominated by a massive rack, its size suggesting it would be better suited for slaughtering cattle than as a stage for debauchery, eyes snapping up realizing the male was circling me, leaning in closely enough that his breath scorched my skin, a rough hand wound around the length of my hair and pulled, forcing me to look at his face, his deep voice taunting* “So you are the one that tamed Vishous... beautiful…” *the furious steam of curses flying from my lips stopped with a sharp tug on my hair, burying his nose in my neck he inhaled deeply, stepping back with an arrogant smirk* “The warrior is bonded to you as well. Isn’t that interesting… and how is it that you brought him to heel?” *seething with rage at being trapped in his arms, snarling my answer I met his steely gaze* Fuck you! *spitting the words I torqued in his grip* I came here for your help. If you aren’t willing, then take your fucking hands off me! *Pulling me tight against his body, back bowed as he wrenched at my fisted locks* “He has not yet taught you respect for your master. Try again… What makes you so special to him, female? Your taste perhaps?” *thrashing wildly in his hold trying to break free, rigid length jabbing painfully into my stomach through the confines of his leathers, my eyes flaring as his fangs punched into his mouth. Leaning down he dragged the tapered points over my pulse, jerking as twin razors scored my skin leaving crimson trails in their wake, the sharp pain fueling my anger* I have no master. Now either say you’ll help me or let me go and I’ll leave you to contemplate your rack envy alone.*lips twisting in a defiant sneer* It’s not the size that counts, you know. *crying out as another sharp pull jerked my head back, his voice a seductive purr in my ear* “Oh, I’ll help you, pet. Vishous lacks the skill to train you, but then he was never up to a challenge. Such a fiery spirit deserves my personal attention and breaking you will prove exceedingly gratifying.”

Boiling Point

-staring at the half lit cig that dangled between my fingers I couldn't help but think about what had me on the edge, it's been days since I've truly been with Jodi and it didn't help that I had left her in our Penthouse... yes the promise of my return was something I really wasn't going to back of off.. tempting but it would hurt Jodi so much, shaking my head and placing the cig between my lips I went back to working on a new dagger.. the last conversation I had with the cop rang through my ears, his words stronger than ever he apparently knew what was doing with me better than I did... and he was willing to help me, fuck it I really needed it, blinking I stared at the blade... I was really thinking about it, closing my eyes my thumb brushing over the sharp end almost as an afterthought, this couldn't be what was doing... could it? Not even the Turkish scent of my blunt could mask the burning need that still gnawed deep within gritting my teeth I felt the blade cut deep in my hand, why the fuck did I have to be this messed up? Couldn't I just be normal and what my leelan needed, in frustration I picked up the blade and threw it with all my strength to the door, watching as it sank with ease and settled like a dart on its board to the middle of the bullseye... Lately it's been getting worse and fuck if I trust myself to be in that dark place with Jodi, white knuckle fist, I could hurt her- No fucking way -I had to get the edge off and soon or there will be hell to pay, namely mine... leaving all work undone and the blade where it landed I walked out of the place, maybe the cop was available or maybe I'll get lucky tonight and some smelly fucker will make my day-

Desperate Measures

*staring out at the Caldwell night through the sliding door, busy streets swirling in a kaleidoscope of light and motion, a vivid cacophony stopped by the wall of thick glass, protecting me from the demons hiding behind forced smiles and painted faces that roamed the clubs and alleys… just as Vishous was trying to protect me from his own demons…Fuck… growling in frustration at the interruption that had taken him away so urgently and left me in our penthouse alone…his penthouse, I corrected… it wouldn’t be ours until we’d seen this through…. I couldn’t even go home to the Pit, fear for my safety compelling Vishous to order that I stay here until his return, cursing my past, my dreams haunted by the abuse that left me determined to never again be a victim… never let anyone hurt me… cringing inwardly at the memories… a weight on my chest holding me down, the smell of my flesh seared by the glowing end of a cheap cigarette… smoothing a hand over the fading scars on my arm, turning and making my way back to the center of the room, a lick of fear coursing through me while I study the rack, running my fingers over the heavy leather straps adorning the corners, imagining the countless females who’d shed blood and tears for my male on its scarred surface, shaking off the thoughts… never again would any other female fulfill my hellren’s darkest desires, gritting my teeth as I’m overcome with a wave of jealousy that it had not been me that had sated his hunger all these years…Vishous is mine!… my mind roaring the words, strengthening my resolve to give him what he needed, hating that his craving came with a crushing self-loathing that no amount of reassurance from me had been able to dissuade… if only he could see in himself what I saw, could understand that my love was total and absolute… instead he’d pulled away, unwilling to admit that the need was eating at him a little more with each passing night, every promise of coming here together set aside by another phone call from Wrath, another lead to be checked out…each delay adding a brick to the wall forming between us, padding into the bedroom and sitting heavily on the bed I glance around, my attention drawn to the partially open drawer of the nightstand, the corner of a small black book peeking out at me, pulling it from its hiding place, brow furrowed as I thumb through the worn pages… names and numbers written in my hellren’s precise hand, males and females alike, the latter likely Vishous’s “pets”, the book was a veritable who’s who of the depraved underworld that had been his outlet for centuries… Christ, there were so many… swallowing hard, eyes widening with every page I turned until a thought stopped me cold… what if he’d gone to them? Oh God, the phone calls… the absences… would he have called on one of the females from this cast of submissives to spare me the brunt of his appetite?... dropping the book to the floor and picking my phone up with shaking hands to dial Vishous’s cell,  immediately connected to voicemail, fighting to keep the hysterical edge from my voice* <Nallum, it’s me. I… Come home to me soon. I love you, always.> *wracked with guilt that he’d resort to such extremes to keep this part of his life from me, that I’d failed him before we’d even begun… cradling my head in my hands, staring down at the floor, eyes wandering to the open book laying between my feet, its glaring white pages demanding to be looked upon, my focus falling on one name in particular…Aihdan… notes on the page’s margin identifying him as a dom, suddenly words I’d spoken to Vishous echoed in my ears… “I'm sure I can find a master to properly school me for your use..” a teasing threat that now seemed my only hope of becoming what he needed, lips drawn tight I snatch the book from the floor and pick up my phone again, this time dialing the numbers printed next to the name, sucking in a breath when a harsh male voice cuts short the shrill ringing, a whispered ‘for him’ passing my lips, I respond without acknowledging the snarled greeting* I need your help…