Boiling Point

-staring at the half lit cig that dangled between my fingers I couldn't help but think about what had me on the edge, it's been days since I've truly been with Jodi and it didn't help that I had left her in our Penthouse... yes the promise of my return was something I really wasn't going to back of off.. tempting but it would hurt Jodi so much, shaking my head and placing the cig between my lips I went back to working on a new dagger.. the last conversation I had with the cop rang through my ears, his words stronger than ever he apparently knew what was doing with me better than I did... and he was willing to help me, fuck it I really needed it, blinking I stared at the blade... I was really thinking about it, closing my eyes my thumb brushing over the sharp end almost as an afterthought, this couldn't be what was doing... could it? Not even the Turkish scent of my blunt could mask the burning need that still gnawed deep within gritting my teeth I felt the blade cut deep in my hand, why the fuck did I have to be this messed up? Couldn't I just be normal and what my leelan needed, in frustration I picked up the blade and threw it with all my strength to the door, watching as it sank with ease and settled like a dart on its board to the middle of the bullseye... Lately it's been getting worse and fuck if I trust myself to be in that dark place with Jodi, white knuckle fist, I could hurt her- No fucking way -I had to get the edge off and soon or there will be hell to pay, namely mine... leaving all work undone and the blade where it landed I walked out of the place, maybe the cop was available or maybe I'll get lucky tonight and some smelly fucker will make my day-