*I pushed at the drink on the bar, my stomach suddenly
unable to tolerate the whiskey that had become standard fare since my... since
Vishous had left, doing my damnedest to ignore the twinkling moss green eyes
that were the tell-tale sign of a well fucked Suzanne as she relayed her night
with her "lheage". God, my skin was crawling, with every detail she
spat, my heart getting smaller and smaller until I thought it might disappear
altogether* So.. he's well then? *Of course he's well, you twit. He's right
back in the saddle. Her saddle. Fuck. Me. Still, I listened to the auditory car
wreck, every minute of it stored away to torment myself with later. Fuck...
Tohr. I blew out a breath. This was wrong. All wrong. But I smiled and nodded
as a friend would, pretending I wasn't cracking in two until she spotted
another in the crowd to relay her adventures to. Not before proudly lifting her
too short skirt to show me the wounds he'd left on her thighs. My jaw clenched
so tightly that it ached as I nodded goodbye and left the club, taking a deep
breath of the night air before starting to walk deeper into downtown Caldwell*
Vishous:
- A whole fucking day had passed and I still felt like I had
done nothing to ease my mind. The session the day before served to rub it in my
nose that I was not only not over the female with the dark chocolate eyes but I
had the balls... ball.. to call her mine at a moment of weakness. Nothing had
changed, just because I had an epiphany it did not give me the right in any way
or form to say that the female was mine to take. That she was in my mind 24/7
was a whole other level that even if I had admitted it to myself, the pain and
the torture would die with me. I had self imposed days off so I could drown
myself in Goose. Which I had done for the past, a glance at the clock later,
umm 20 hours. Buzz had come and gone and yet I kept at it. Dead diamond eyes
trained on a dark spot of the floor done years ago by my glowing hand-
Jodi:
*I walked without purpose, without direction...no intent but
to exhaust myself until I lacked the energy to even think of my...of him. God
damn it, Jodi, stop doing that! I ground my teeth at what I'd nearly done for
the 10th time in as many minutes. He's not yours! If anyone's he's hers. The
thought made me sick, forcing a hand to my mouth to stop the retch building in
my throat, taking a breath and getting nothing but a nosefull of cheap Chinese
and cheaper cologne as I passed the row of take-outs and fuck me's that lined
Trade Street, finally stopping to gather my head only to find that my feet had
once more brought me to the Commodore as they had been doing so often lately.
Fucking traitors. But, I hadn't gone in. I hadn't heard from Vishous since he
left and I hadn't tried to reach him. That was ending now. Steeling my resolve,
I passed through the revolving doors and through the lobby, pressing the button
for the elevator and pressing the button for the penthouse, forcing myself
inside before I talked myself out of it. I needed to know that he really was
alright. That's all this was. Uh huh.
And I've got some oceanfront property in Arizona to sell too. Fuck fuck
fuck. I watched the numbers on the display rise, all but jumping out of the car
when it reached its destination. You're going to see for yourself that he
doesn't give a damn about you, Jodi. You're going to stop waiting and wishing
and grow the fuck up. This is Vishous we're talking about. Not your Prince
Charming. Mentally kicking myself, I hurried down the hall, lifting a shaking
hand to knock on the door*
Vishous:
- The knock on the door was a surprise and yet I lacked the
energy to actually even lift my head. I wasn't expecting company and if Wrath
wanted to be effective about the visits and most likely would send either Rhage,
who would just pop up, or Butch... umm he could be the one at the door... Ah
fuck that shit. With a groan I get out of the couch and shuffled my way to the
door, stumbled in my feet still a little more than buzzed with a bottle of
Goose in my hand. I blinked and will the door open when I was close enough-
What? - I took a swing of the vodka that burned down my throat-
Jodi:
*I flinched at his tone* My... *lheage? No, he wasn't that.
Not now* Vishous, it's Jodi. *I willed my voice to stop its tremor as I
answered through the door, suddenly unsure if he even knew my name* I
mean..pet. It's pet.
Vishous:
- Her voice drifted through the entire room and I blinked. I
had been drinking myself to the point of
hallucinations, slowly I moved to be in the way of the doorway. It was opened
and there she stood... my lips parted as if the beauty of her had taken any
rational thought and stolen my breath. In a second I composed myself and looked
right into her eyes- Of course, my favorite pet. What can I do you for? -hands
dangling to either side of my body-
Jodi:
I just... I thought you were gone for good. *I frowned,
studying your face. Diamond eyes rimmed red, your booming voice was...slurred?
But it still took nothing away from the male that dominated my dreams every
night as I slept in another's bed. You were still magnificent, raw power
shackled in buttery leather. The male of the vivid and graphic images dancing
behind my eyelids with such clarity that I often wondered if you'd done it
intentionally* I...I talked to Suzanna. Can I come in?
Vishous:
- I almost winced at the mention of the female that had been
the tool for release. A means to an end. I could not let this cloud us in any
way, I had to keep you out of the loop of the new obsession I had. Dead diamond
eyes turned away from you after I nodded- Sure - took another healthy shot of
Goose-
Jodi:
*I cautiously stepped inside and closed the door behind me
with a soft click and fell in step behind you, sitting down on the rarely-used
sofa and taking your hand as if I had every right to do it, tugging you gently
onto the cushion next to me, mind working frantically over what I was going to
say* I guess, I just wanted to say I miss you. I mean.. you're missed. *a blush
colored my cheeks at the slip, quickly averting my eyes*
Vishous:
- I looked down at you with surprise, no way could that have
been what you meant. Nope. Dare to dream fucker. I plopped down next to you on
the couch staring straight ahead again- Yeah, I bet -the warmth of your hand
enveloped mine and I couldn't make myself take that away from you. Let this
moment stand alone no words just this-
Jodi:
*I took a relieved breath when you didn't pull away, the
mass of your body bouncing me on the sofa as you sank down beside me* I thought
maybe you'd forgotten about me... us. *smooth, Jodi, really fucking smooth. Why
not just ask him?*
Vishous:
- I mumbled "I can't forget about you... I've
tried" then I shake my head and reach for one of my blunts, leaving the
bottle aside, and light it up- Not something I can do, true? Just need the
space
Jodi:
*I frowned at the muttered words, shaking my head. No way I
heard that. Tilting my head, I squinted in the dim light trying to focus on
your face* Vishous? Do you want me to leave?
Vishous:
- Well wasn't that the million dollar question, did I really
want her to leave? No, was it the right thing to do? Absolutely. I let the
strong taste of the dark spices of Turkish tobacco fill my senses before I
answer- It is up to you, female. Wouldn't want us to have any problems with
anyone -meaning Tohr... smooth, wow, Vishous. New personal record-
Jodi:
*I exhaled loudly and shook my head, the rich smell of good
tobacco making my head swim... or was it being so close to you? No, it was the
Turkish. Definitely.* No, I don't want to go. *my voice dropped, the words
falling out before I realize I'd spoken* I think I feel you watching me
sometimes.
Vishous:
- I visibly winced at that and I turned to the side to look
at you, she spoke like a female that could feel the blood connection even in
the distance, the blunt still held between my lips- What makes you say that?
Jodi:
*I shrugged at that. I had no reason to think you'd been
there but something in me said otherwise* Have you been? Watching me, I mean?
*I edged closer, the heat of your body warming me through your leathers as I
slipped my jacket off my shoulders and hung it over the arm of the couch*
Vishous:
- I watched you closely, as if mentally doing the
undressing, sneaking a caress over your smooth skin and... we stop right there.
So blood, yeah, lashing out... darkness.. Turkish tobacco. This time when I
answered the question I once again turned to look away- Would it really make
any difference if I were? - not really an answer but not exactly a denial-
Jodi:
It would to me. *my eyes followed the line of your jaw as
you turned away, hoping to force a smile if I could* I'd like to know if I have
a guardian angel, Vishous. Do I? *my thumb stroked over your hand, counting my
heartbeats until you answered*
Vishous:
- There was no warmth what so ever when she stroked my hand
in that tender way of hers, nope, my heart did not do... I will not admit that
even to myself. I took another hit of the tobacco- I wouldn't call myself a
guardian angel, feel me? - not that there was any pride in that shit. Previous
encounters have showed me otherwise.... but I nodded as I exhaled- I have been
out there watching over you sometimes - every night-
Jodi:
*I couldn't help but smile at that and the idea that I might
be more to you than a pet made me bold, brow creasing as the details of Suzanna's tarnished little fairytale pressed to the forefront, needing to know that I was
still something to you...and more than she was. To know for sure whether I was
chasing a dream* So I'm still your favorite then?
Vishous:
- My brow knitted at the thought that you somehow figured
you where not my favorite pet. Even if I had just admitted once to myself I
still felt as if you were mine, somehow some way and being my favorite pet was
how I could stake that kind of claim even if wasn't mine to take- You've never
stopped being my favorite pet... situation just... changed
Jodi:
I know it did, Vishous. Doesn’t mean we can't talk, does it?
*I looked around the room, my gaze falling on the rack... the rack that I knew
damned well had recently been used. When had anyone ever come here to just
talk? Forcing myself to be chipper though I was dying at the thought of your
hands on another* You just made my night, warrior. *I pasted on a smile,
getting to my feet* I should get back to Tohr. *I took the chance and took a
step toward you, brushing my knuckles over a stubbled cheek and leaning down to
press a gentle kiss to your jaw* Don't be a stranger, okay?
Vishous:
- On impulse I grab you by the back of your neck and hold
your face close to me not allowing any space more than a few inches. I felt the
brush of your breath over my lips and my tongue darts out to run over my bottom
lip. I blinked and took that moment to brush a kiss over your forehead then
fall back against the couch, my eyes anywhere but meeting yours- I'll try not
to, pet -I rubbed my face and took a deep breath -
Jodi:
*gasping a little as your palm closes over my nape and falls
away, heart hammering I straighten
myself and clear my throat, already stepping back toward the door and opening
it to cross out into the corridor* Take care of yourself, Vishous. I... *love
you, my mind finished but I couldn't form the words* I hope to see you soon. *I
hugged my arms to my chest, not trusting myself to go back into the penthouse
after my jacket for fear of running right into your arms, a lone tear slipping
down my cheek as I hit the elevator bay and disappear into the waiting car*
Vishous:
- A shudder runs through my body, fuck your words had a sort
of intimate tone I was dangerously close to craving 24/7. I couldn't watch you
go, I would try to get you to come back or who the fuck knows. I took a deep
breath... big mistake, her scent thick in the air, not even the smell of the
tobacco could opaque that sweet perfume that was just her. I turned to the side
and stared at the jacket for the longest time before I reached to run a hand
over it- I've got a thing for you, female - I heaved a sigh, second time I
admitted that and the first time I’d said it out loud, shitkickers dragging my
legs down as I bolted the door and headed back to the sofa to finish off my
bottle-
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